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Sunday, 7 December 2014

Long time no see

Its been nearly a year since I last used this blog, I guess you could say I'm the kind of person who gets into something but never sticks to it, but I'm determined to this time, I've always loved the thought of having a blog and I'm always inspired by all the youtubers and bloggers I follow but the number of blogs I've started and never really done anything with is really bad, I guess you could say that I'm scared to put all my feelings and thoughts out for people to read (thats if anyone is reading) but for me I know its the best way to get all my thoughts out, especially as I'm a worrier, I get anxiety woth lots of things and mild panic attacks but it has been getting better, I also love writing, so at school whenever everyone was moaning as the teacher had set a writing lesson I would secretly be cheering as its what I love, I'm also hoping that this blog will help with my photography as thats what I want to do in life but I never really get out there and do any, I always get sucked in into youtube videos and things on tumblr, I'm now 17 and I'm starting to look at everything I've done in my life and its not that much, and it scares me, what have I done in the 17 years I've been alive that I could be proud of achieving and its not that great, I want to to have done something good with my life and see the world, I want to be someone that atleast one person will remember for a good reason, for the most part of the year I was quite depressed and my anxiety was really bad, one of the reasons would have been because I was in year 11 and I had all these exams which all the teachers made out were the most important things you will do and they were wrong, all those exams will only help me get into a college and its what I achieve there and at university (if I go) which will affect my life, I've also realised now that the relationship I was in then was affecting my life in a bad way, but of course I thought it making my life a whole lot better, after not being in that relationship for a few months I've been happier and not as anxious, anyway I've rambled on enough now and I promise that not all my post will be like this or get this deep, but I felt that I needed to get all of this out.

have a good day and stay positive,
Byeeeee ❤

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